Few people intentionally define and shape their identity, based on who they plan to be, and then become that person.” That's a quote from my favorite author, Dr. Benjamin Hardy.
If you haven't ready any of Dr. Hardy's books, do yourself a favor and get to audible ASAP and get one. I recommend starting with his latest book "Be Your Future Self Now" and work backward from there.
The Future Self Psychology has been around for a long time but from what I've seen over the past few years, it's starting to become more accepted which I think is really amazing.
It's such a simple theory: Whatever I believe my future is going to look like is reflected in my present identity.
Most people will tell you that their future is dictated by their past. I don't agree and this is certainly not true in my life.
If you're in addiction recovery like me, I assure you that having a positive, exciting visualization of our ideal future is more important for us than it is for anyone else.
For those of us in recovery, we can't afford NOT to have a vision of an exciting future because everyone needs excitement, addict or not.
The difference is that if WE lack excitement, we can easily be tempted to go back to the drugs and alcohol, our former solution to boredom and discontentment.
If I believe I am going to have this amazing future filled with love, wealth, happiness and adventure, my current actions reflect that. I'm happy to take action because I know exactly what I want my future to look like and I'm committed to making it happen.
However, If I don't believe my future is going to be all that great because I don't even really know where my life is headed at the moment, then my present identity reflects that.
Instead of taking action to do what I need to do to ensure that exciting future, I only take care of things that are urgent. I'm talking about the daily tasks that somehow keep us extremely busy all day long and yet, somehow we get no further ahead, just older.
Truthfully, when we haven't taken the time to design the future that we want and work on getting there, our present is wasted.
If we don't have a specific goal, we are in trouble.
There is great news though -
“In a single moment, a person can choose to change everything. Change doesn’t have to take a long time, it happens the instant we decide.” -Another Dr. Hardy Quote
So what is the solution?
No matter what life stage we are in, we need to know what we want our future to look like.
It may not turn out exactly as we want it to, but the point is that we have a clear vision and we now have something specific to work on - our present is no longer wasted.
Once we set goals for our future and begin working on them every day, our identity starts to change into that of the person who can achieve those goals.
Specifically define your future (Try 3 years out to start)
Believe that you can achieve that future
LASER focus on ONE BIG GOAL
Do 3 small things every day that will get you closer that BIG GOAL
Because I really like you, I have made you some cheat sheets to get you started.
If you simply click HERE you will have 2 exercises waiting for you:
The first part will ask you specific questions that will help you design your ideal future and the second part will show you the trick of laser focusing on one big goal to see the best results.
Kelly France is a Nationally Certified Recovery Coach and Interventionist with training from The Addictions Academy and Tony Robbins Coaching. He's been sober over 11 years. kellyfrance.com